Can’t fix all problems

I think one of the hardest things being a parent is not being able to fix something for your kids.  When I got home today from work, my youngest was really quiet and sad.  I asked her what was wrong, and her reply made me so sad….  ” I don’t have many friends and this summer all I am going to do is go to summer school and that is it.”  I wasn’t even sure how to respond right away, because the first reaction is to say, that is not true.  I knew I had to choose my words wisely, so after a few minutes I said, babe, I think you have friends, but, I need to know why you think you don’t.  She told me how her and two of her other friends stopped talking yesterday because my daughter decided to talk to a girl at summer school that they did not like.  I told her I was proud of her for talking to the other girl and that she needed to tell her friends that they should never get mad at anyone for talking to someone, even if they don’t like that person.  I think this transition from elementary school to junior high is going to be a little tough.  Girls, seem to always have drama and that is one thing I do not like in my life and do not want that for her either….  I talked to her about how sometimes it is hard to make choices, but, you have to do what you think is right no matter what people think.  You might feel alone now, but, that only means there is something bigger happening around the corner.  I said maybe this summer is about you being you and doing things that are good for you.  I want her to concentrate on school, and really just be ok with who she is and what she is doing.  I would love for her to feel that she has all these friends and that it is all ok, but I feel that would just be a lie and I will not do that to her.  Sometimes you have to loose people in your life because they do not go with what you believe or think or feel the same way.  Now, I am not saying you have to surround yourself with all people who are like you, no that would be boring….  BUT, you need to have good people, who support, care and lift you up.  I told her I know I am not the same as her friends, but I am here, she said I am her best friend, which is beyond sweet, but let’s be real, I am not 11 and can not be that.  The only thing I can do for her right now, is just be here and support, love and make her know she is a great person and this will pass.  I made the mistake ( or not) of saying I would do a Youtube channel with her, she is beyond excited for that….  We had one done, but she accidentally deleted it from the camera, so this weekend we will be doing one, or two.  I know I didn’t;t solve a problem today, but what I did do is make her feel ok and that we all go through this in life.  I told her I am 45 and look at me….  I still go through this stuff!  We all change and evolve all the time, the key is to be okay with the change, not try to stop it.  If we don’t continue to move forward we will always be stuck in the same place and that doesn’t work. 🙂

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