I drive by my parents townhome, well what used to be, at least once everyday, as they had lived that close to me. I started thinking the other day, how it is just so amazing that people are here one minute and then can be gone the next. Sometimes we know it is going to happen and other times there is no warning or little at all. I have thought about my dad, as he was the most active one compared to my mom, he was always at the store, station or someone’s house talking about cars. I think about those people, he sometimes saw everyday, people I did not know and wonder if they have thought “What happened to George”? Like he was here every single day or called every week and then there is nothing, forever and they have no idea what happened to him…
Have we been programmed from our ancestors to take death as the absolute ending? Is this why it is so hard for so many to not be able to bounce back from someone dying? I think about this as I just find this topic really interesting as I have experienced loss many times and for the fact that I have found a way to be positive, to take it all as a gift and to know there is SO much more waiting once we leave this earth.
I think about when I was growing up and remembering how my dad was when his own dad died, it was the first time I ever saw him cry. For me, this was a traumatizing event, so much sadness, regrets that my dad had and just pure torture for the loss of his dad. This is for sure why I feared death for so many years. I lived in fear, worrying about my own parents dying, losing the people I loved around me and this carried with me into my early adult years. To witness how people react to death is a blog on its own. Everyone of us is different in the way we think, feel, react, but what is the same is we all suffer a loss. I don’t like to think one loss is greater than another, but a parent losing a child is incomprehensible than a child losing a parent. I have to believe though, it is all in the same, that we have to learn life without the person. When you think back to all the generations, some where along the way this became a fearful thing, because I do know there was once a time when death was not viewed as it is today. There was much more of a spiritual tone with dying, maybe call it a reason or a purpose? I do believe everything in our lives happen for a reason, you may not know it till later, but if you find the strength and look for it, it will be there.
I know today, losing my parents was a beautiful gift that they gave me, for the fact they gave me another chance to live another life, to live it differently, with no fear. They have allowed me to become the person I was always meant to be, taught me so much in their death, more than I could have imagined. So many times I say “Thank you”, for giving me this life, letting me know that death is not a forever thing, it isn’t something to be fearful of, IF you live the way you were meant to.
I see so many people clinging to the what were’s, what if’s, and the why’s, I feel a sadness for them, as they have not realized, each person who comes into our lives is not meant to be with us forever. Some people stay for a short time, others longer and some, yes till our last breath. Each person who enters, teaches us, shows us their gifts, and our a true blessing, even if a relationship ends poorly. To find meaning in something we do not understand is a way of healing and allowing yourself to view things differently. To allow yourself to keep moving forward, to change what you can about yourself and knowing the things you can not change and realizing these challenges are also a gift, that makes you grow. Some may think death is the end, but how do we know that? Has someone come back to tell you this?
I always thought when I died it would just turn black and that would be it, life was over, no memories to see, nothing to feel, absolutely black. That is a sad way to look at this and today I believe death puts us in a whole new life. I know I have angels and spirits around me, you can call me crazy, doesn’t bug me at all, it is what I know to be true. The fact is they show me all the time they are here, guiding me, giving me signs, and always holding me in their love and light.
Always find the light in the dark, joy in the madness, and love in everything you do.
Thank you for reading and supporting me it has been a year since I started my blog and it has changed and grown into so much more than I could have ever imagined!
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