With everything that has been going on with Press, the one thing I know is that she gets sucked into social media. It is alarming to watch, like she becomes someone completely different, like an alien or something takes over her… This is totally new to me, for the fact that her older siblings never experienced this at her age or ever for that matter. It is something I now know I need to be completely in charge of, mainly because it is NOT healthy for her to live in some fantasy land, where she loses herself and becomes an unhappy person.
Last night we were talking, while she was writing in her new journal, I told her my number one worry was her going back to how things had been, how she loses herself when she has an iPad or her phone. She actually agreed and said she knows she becomes someone different and actually doesn’t want to be that person. I told her I have loved how it has been since she lost her phone and iPad again, because she is using her mind on different things, she is talking more, doing more things, and bottom line, she is a much happier person. She also agreed with all of this, which makes me very happy that she does see how social media sucks her in and how she loses the ability to do other things that do not contain a phone or iPad. So she actually brought up monitoring her phone (when she gets it back), but I was not sure how to really do that since she has a plan with her dad, not mine. Today, however she had a doctor appointment for her med check and the doctor showed us on her phone how we can all shut down things at different times, whatever apps, and how you can see how much time is going for being on your phone. Something I did not know about, as I never needed to before. I obviously know she could go into her phone or iPad and shut this off at anytime, but here again, I have to be able to trust her at some point and believe that she wants better for herself… I told her I will be setting this up on my phone as well, as I think we all should be able to shut down and put our phones away and be present when we should and need to be. I guess if anything, I want to be as supportive as I can, something we can do and learn together and really will just be a positive thing for both of us. I know now the signs now, when she is becoming sucked in, when she loses herself and that is the most important thing.
Social media for adults is so different than it is for our kids, but I believe us adults with kids, NEED to be aware of what is going on in our kids phones, iPads, whatever device they are using. You can trust your kid with everything, but reality is, social media can suck them in. I still am shocked what kids post, say and show, but I am not surprised that many parents do not even know what is going on. We all have a choice to live in a place where we think nothing is going on or we can chose to see what is really going on, by looking into what apps they are on, who they are socializing with, and the words that they use. This has been an eye opener for me, it honestly has helped me be a better parent and to help her navigate this whole world of social media. Obviously I would rather she never be on anything again, but that is not being realistic, so all I can do is put time limits, monitor, and talk, talk, talk about what is going on. I know she loves to do so many other things, so that is where it takes more time for me, to make sure she is doing other things than sitting on a device. I know for parents it is much easier to think our kids are good with a phone, they are socializing, talking with friends, whatever, but reality, they are not… I do not want her to lose her mind, her creative side, her passion for the many other things that she loves to do. This takes more effort on my part, but after everything we have been through, I am all in, because honestly I love seeing her using her mind, talking, and really being happy. Kids need to know, it doesn’t matter how many likes, hits, or streaks you have or get, that means absolutely nothing. But reality, for them this is how life has become. I know she is growing up, but I don’t need her to pass the age is she at right now, I want her to be 11.5, doing things that she should be doing and learning. It takes more strength to NOT go with the flow of other kids, it might make you look weird, it might make you feel more alone, but honestly in the end I know she will be a much happier person and for me that is all I ever want for her. We all our weird in our own way, I just want her to have no fear in being who she is, because she is AmazingU. We all are!
Thank you for stopping by. If you have any comments or know of anymore tricks for monitoring Social Media, please share, I have done a lot of looking into many different apps…
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